Social anxiety can make you feel small. Living with this condition can eat away at your confidence, leaving you fearful of being noticed and critiqued by others and preferring to hide away rather than take centre stage.
Dealing with social anxiety often requires expert help in the form of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and practising facing the social situations you find difficult. This process takes time and effort, but is highly effective in helping you overcome your fears.
But there’s one thing you can do to combat your worries and raise your confidence right away that requires no expert knowledge and no special training.
Ever notice how we have so many phrases that link our physical position to our level of success and confidence? Standing tall, head and shoulders above the rest, high and mighty, and so on. All these phrases indicate power and confidence. And there’s a reason for it: our physical posture has a big impact on how others see us- and how we see ourselves.
Just like many animals use threat displays such as puffing out their chests to show dominance or intimidate rivals, you can use your physical stance and the way you hold yourself to increase your own self-confidence.
Why does posture affect confidence?
There’s a strong connection between our mental state and our physical state. Put another way- our bodies express how we’re feeling. If we’re happy, we smile and adopt a relaxed stance. If we’re angry, we frown, clench our fists and fold our arms. If we’re anxious, we show worry through a wide-eyed expression and the body becomes tense- as if we’re bracing for impact.
What’s really interesting is that the link between physical posture and mental state goes both ways. Feeling happy causes us to smile, but smiling can also make you happier. This holds true for other feelings too. If we adopt a certain stance or physical position, our minds think that we must be feeling a certain way, and so our emotions end up following the lead of our body language.
This is really good news for people with social anxiety disorder. With a bit of practice you can get into the habit of holding yourself in a way that makes you look and feel confident. Even if you don’t feel remotely confident in social situations, carrying yourself as though you do will make a big difference to both how others see you and how you yourself think and act.
So let’s get down to it- here are some easy postures and body positions that can help you look and feel invincible.
Puff yourself up
The key principle in improving your posture has its roots in the animal kingdom. When trying to threaten a rival or show dominance over another pack member, animals such as wolves, monkeys and lions will make themselves look as big as possible: standing upright, puffing out their chests and extending their limbs away from the body.
Conversely, when trying to avoid a fight or look submissive, these creatures shrink down, hunching over and trying to appear as small and unthreatening as possible.
This same principle works in humans. If we hold ourselves in a small, contracted position, research shows that we start to feel less confident, less capable, and experience more self-critical thoughts.
Examples of a contracted posture include:
● Hunched shoulders
● Folded arms
● Hanging your head
● Avoiding eye contact
● Keeping your legs together (or crossed over while sitting)
But if we adopt what is called an expansive posture, we feel much more confident and have a higher estimation of our own abilities.
So what is expansive posture? Examples include:
● Standing tall and upright
● Sitting with your back upright
● Holding your chin up and making eye contact
● Squaring your shoulders
● Standing or sitting with your legs apart
● Holding your arms away from your body- such as by putting your hands on your hips
Research findings show that these kinds of postures convey confidence, authority and attractiveness to others, meaning that when holding yourself in this way, you’re more likely to get a positive, respectful reaction from those around you.
But as we said above, the link between posture and mood goes both ways. So holding yourself like this will also make you think of yourself as more powerful, confident, capable and attractive. This kind of body language can even increase creativity and improve your mood too.
Plus a good posture is better for your back and joints. So that’s good too, right?
Hold your head high
Nobody feels confident all the time. And if you’re living with social anxiety disorder you might struggle with seeing yourself in a very negative light and worry that others think of you as insignificant or awkward.
But this one simple change can have a huge impact on how you see yourself. So start applying it today! Next time you’re out and about, walk like a boss and hold yourself like you’re the champion of the world. You might be surprised by how it makes you feel- and how the reaction you get from other people changes.
For more pointers on how you can increase your self-confidence to deal with social anxiety, get in touch with our team.
