Social anxiety disorder is one of the most common mental health disorders in the world today- and rates may be increasing. Recent studies show that rates of diagnosis are increasing each year, and among young adults- for whom social anxiety is particularly troublesome- as many as 1 in 3 people now meet the criteria.
Many of them are totally unaware they are living with a mental health condition, and struggle on each day, thinking that their fear of social situations is just due to shyness or introversion.
So why is social anxiety so common? And what is behind the increase in recent years? One answer lies in the impact our digital lives has on our mental health.
Social media and anxiety
Social media is a huge, often inescapable part of life. Sites like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Tiktok are the main way we stay connected to friends and enjoy new entertainment online. While social media is still most used by younger people (teenagers and adults under 30), older adults are increasingly taking their lives online too.
So what does the rise in social media have to do with anxiety? I think there are a few connections actually.
To start with, think about the kinds of photos you typically upload to Instagram (or whatever the most popular site is whenever you’re reading this). Holiday photos, pics of the kids, nights out with friends, or poses in famous or interesting places are prime fodder for social media sites.
You’re unlikely to see many photos of people taking out the bins, sat watching TV in their pyjamas or sat staring vacantly into space while at their work desk.
Most people are very selective about what they put online, carefully curating and editing their photos to look as good as possible. The upshot of this is that they give the impression that life is fabulous and we’re all having a great time, all the time.
So if you’re feeling a bit down or self-conscious, and you look online and see the rest of your social circle (and the wider world) smiling and looking fabulous, you might get the impression that you’re the only person struggling.
Worse, you might feel hesitant to talk about your feelings with others, since clearly everyone else is so much better off than you. All your friends seem to have it all together, so why don’t you?
This filtered version of reality which appears online creates a real pressure to always look your best, even when you’re really struggling and what you really need is to reach out for a bit of support.
This constant need to present yourself a certain way, while feeling another, can take a toll. You may start to feel like a fraud and struggle with insecurity around having your ‘real’ life discovered.
Of course, the truth is that everyone has their struggles, and everyone (or nearly everyone) tries to hide them and put up a front on their social media platforms. But It can still feel very isolating seeing a sea of perfect smiles and beautifully posed photos on your news feed and wondering why you don’t feel the same.
A constant spotlight
One of the key characteristics of social anxiety disorder is a fear of being judged and critiqued by others. This can often feel like a spotlight being shone on you, highlighting your flaws and inadequacies for the world to see.
In the face-to-face world, judgements are usually kept implicit or unspoken. But online, your photos, comments and whole life can be overtly critiqued by the world at large.
Every social media platform has a function to like, share and comment on other people’s content. This means that you have a direct measure of how people are responding to you, and it can feel very personal.
There’s a real rush when you post a photo or tweet that gets re-shared and liked hundreds or thousands of times. But if you post something and it gets less attention than you’d hoped, it’s easy to feel like you’ve failed. Many people end up obsessing over the number of views and likes their posts get, comparing their own numbers to that of their friends and starting to worry and stress if they can’t attract the same kind of attention.
Real connection
Humans are social creatures. We’re wired to want to feel like we belong to a group. Having the support and companionship of others makes us feel safe on a deep level.
Social media, for all its usefulness and entertainment value, doesn’t come close to replicating this feeling. You might get temporary feelings of satisfaction from posting a well-received video or attracting new followers, but this is a poor substitute for real friendship.
This becomes a problem if social media is our only form of contact with the rest of the world. We might think that by scrolling through our news feeds we’re keeping in touch with people, but it’s all surface level. If we don’t have any opportunity to connect with people on a deeper level, our social lives might have all the appearance of being fun and vibrant, but will likely feel hollow and fragile.
What’s the answer?
I don’t want to be one of these people grumbling about social media and saying that we all have to delete our facebook accounts in order to be happy. Social media, as part of a wider social life, is absolutely fine and a great way to keep in touch with people (and find funny videos to wile away the hours).
That said, I think there’s an undeniable link between social media and social anxiety. Feeling like you constantly have to be presenting a perfect version of yourself and having it judged and reacted to by the entire world creates the perfect breeding ground for insecurities about your self-worth.
If this sounds like a struggle you’re dealing with, here are a few pointers to help you find a more meaningful, less stressful way of connecting to others:
- It’s not the full picture- remind yourself that you aren’t looking at people’s real lives online. You’re looking at the highlights- the greatest hits. Don’t compare your own life to what you see online as it will never be the full story.
- Connect in real life- scrolling on your phone might feel like socialising, but it won’t fill the basic human need for connection and support from others. Make it a priority to spend time with people offline too. You’ll get to see that other people have their imperfections too, and the superficial online world won’t seem quite so all-important.
- Limit your time- if social media causes you genuine worry and you find yourself compulsively checking how well received your posts are, it might be good to rein it in a bit. Limiting your time online to a couple of hours a day, or a set number of posts per week, can limit the impact it has on your mental health.
Of course, social media isn’t the only route to developing social anxiety, and plenty of people find offline interaction difficult. But there is help available. Talk to one of our team today to find out more.
